My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
