she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
