Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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