what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
