I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry about my life...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
