Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
