would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
