You're so nebulous sometimes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
