We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
