I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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