whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were trust falling into bushes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
