no, he came in my armpit
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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