i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
