The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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