I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
