chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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