I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
