How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
