He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
