now i know why i became what i already was.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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