How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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