just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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