i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
