UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
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I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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