quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
