strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
