Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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