I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
