? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
