it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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