wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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