john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
