dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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