Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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