ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
