After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
