I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
