Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize