Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
