They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
this is an emotional support booty call
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
