remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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