Yo dont text me then not text me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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