I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
