She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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