you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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