hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
