and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
