Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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