dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
