dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
