Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
