ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
