How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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