Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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