I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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