Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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