You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how does that bad decision feel?
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