Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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