Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
