i was born a porn star she said
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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