Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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