He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
