This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
