Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The air was thick with penises
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
