The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
